【摘要】
Sometimes love really can be measured in pounds and pence.
有时候爱情可能真的会用金钱来衡量。
It's an annual argument. Do we or do we not go on holiday? My partner says no because the boiler could go, or the roof fall off, and we have no savings to save us. I say that you only live once and we work hard and what's the point if you can't go on holiday. The joy of a recession means no argument next year – we just won't go.
每年大家都会因为这个吵来吵去：我们去不去旅行?我家的那位会说不去，因为热水器可能会坏，屋顶可能会塌下来，我们没钱救自己。我会说人只能活一次，我们工作这么辛苦，不去度假生活又有什么意义。不好今年经济不景气也好，明年不会吵架了，因为我们是不会去旅行了。
Since money is reputed to be one of the things most likely to bring a relationship to its knees, we should be grateful. For many families the recession means more than not booking a holiday. A YouGov poll of 2,000 people in May this year found 22% said they were arguing more with their partners because of concerns about money. What's less clear is whether divorce and separation rates rise in a recession – financial pressures mean couples argue more but make splitting up less affordable. A recent report from ICOR (the online Information Centre on Relationships) cited research showing arguments about money were especially damaging to couples – even more so to their children. Disputes were characterised by intense verbal aggression, tended to be repeated and not resolved, and made men, more than women, extremely angry.
钱应该是最可能让一段关系跌入谷底的东西了，所以我们应该心怀感激。对于大部分家庭来说，经济不景气可不仅仅是不能去度假这么简单。YouGov调研公司在今年5月进行的一项2000人的民意调查显示，22%的人表示，会因为对金钱的担忧跟伴侣吵架。不过现在并不清楚经济衰退时期离婚和分居比率会否上升——财务压力意味着夫妻会吵架更多，但很难承担分手。 在线人际关系信息中心ICOR近期的一项报告援引研究结果显示，关于金钱的吵架尤其容易伤害夫妻的关系：对孩子们的伤害更大。金钱纠纷主要表现为激烈的言语攻击，两人会多次争吵但问题仍无法解决，男性会比女性情绪更为气愤。
So why are arguments about money so emotive? Since they seem to be so even without a recession, they have to be about more than literally pounds and pence.
为什么关于钱的争吵会让人很情绪化?即使并非经济衰退期也是如此，而这样的争吵也不单纯只是关于钱而已。
Kim Stephenson, an occupational psychologist, believes money is such a big deal because of what it symbolises, which may be different things to men and women. "People can say the same things about money but have different conceptions of what it is for," he explains. "They will say it's to save, to spend, for security, for freedom, to show someone you love them, to keep score."
职业心理学家Kim Stephenson认为，人们会对钱的问题小题大做，是因为钱对男性和女性有着不同的象征意义。他解释道：“人们都会谈论钱，但是心中却对钱有不同的概念。钱是用来省的，用来花的，保障安全，赢取自由，用来向某人表示你爱他/她，用来得分。”
He says men are more likely to see money as a way of buying status, of trying to best the man down the road who's just bought a flash car, and of showing their parents that they've achieved something. He warns that, while couples need enough money not to struggle and be unhappy, an extra £5,000 above that amount won't make them any happier.
他表示男性更容易把钱当做某些手段：买到地位，赢过附近刚刚买了辆拉风汽车的人，或者向父母表现他们的成功。他警告道，虽然夫妻需要足够的钱让生活不至于艰辛不幸福，但再多5000英镑的金额也无法让他们更幸福。
"The biggest problem is that couples assume each other knows what is going on with their finances, but they don't. There seems to be more of a taboo about talking about money than talking about death. But you both need to know what you are doing, who is paying what into the joint account and how much you keep separately. In a healthy relationship you don't have to agree about money, but you have to talk about it."
“最大的问题是夫妻会认为彼此了解他们的财政状况，但其实并非这样。谈论金钱比谈论死亡其实更算是禁忌。但夫妻需要了解清楚家里的情况，联名账户谁在付多少?账户里大家各自又有多少?一段健康的关系中，你们不需要对钱有相同的看法，但大家需要谈论关于钱的事情。”
Research from a wholesome organisation in the US called the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center says that establishing a "fair and equitable pattern of handling money early in marriage appears to be important for the quality and stability of the marriage". Admitting your incomes to each other and making budgets for your household expenses may not seem romantic but it is, in fact, the real language of love.
美国卫生组织国家健康婚姻资源中心的研究表示，“在婚姻初期，建立公平公正的金钱处理模式，对婚姻的质量和稳定性很重要”。对彼此的收入坦诚相待，对家庭的开支进行规划，听起来可能不浪漫，但其实这才是爱情真正的语言。
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